David, love the ‘Beast’

I must just tell you about an elderly chap at our club who is giving me grave cause for concern.  I do not have any evidence yet, apart from the hushed whispers of the members, and the occasional slide of his hand across your rear end as you are standing to order your drink, but by the time my investigation is done, I expect to have a huge pile of testimonies right up to the ceiling.  His shopping habits have been profligate and his friendly smile only a smoke-screen.  I am certain that he harbours a ravenous sexual appetite which is just not natural for a man of his age.

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