What happened the other day

On Tuesday I did a ‘missing-person’ report after my frail and ageing mum wandered off in the direction of Dereham road in Norwich muttering: “you may never see me again…”
We had been unable to agree where to get her new purse from. I had suggested we try the market place.
That night she sneaked off with my step-brother down to the local pig-wagon. She wouldn’t wait to see the Officer who had to verify she had returned home to us safely.
I heard Kevin get quite angry when he thought I was listening-in to their call.   I don’t know why she has to keep sneaking off to the Plebs for.
On Wednesday me and Chris had a lovely day. We even managed to get some out for the second day running. I know she’s a bit shallow sometimes, but she’s all I have.
Later on that night mum burst into my room and said she had been to see ‘Dave’ about me again and that she wanted me to leave.   I asked her why she wanted to go behind my back all the time, but then she does comes from a long line of Watsons.  “Why shouldn’t I talk to the police about you if I want to!”
I pushed the door against her, but not very hard. It’s a good job I didn’t use all my strength. After that she tried to phone the Cops, but I took the phones off her, as I had done with the car keys a few weeks before at two in the morning. I rang Chris to tell her what was going on. It was like a bluddy nightmare. Sam our cat chose that moment to bring a mouse into the house, so I spent ages trying to catch it. In the meantime mum had made it through the front door and was nowhere to be seen. I searched all over the area, by car, and by bike, but could not find her anywhere, so I phoned the police to report her missing again.
It turns out that she had gone next door to report me to the police for ‘abuse.’ I called there with Chris to say we wanted her home and that she was quite safe to come with us.
When the police came round I tried to explain about some of my mum’s behaviour. I told the police that I was very worried about my mum wandering around that time of night because she was so small and frail.
Chris, my girlfriend, was sat up in bed. She said that she: “didn’t want to get involved, and was worried her neighbours might get to hear about us.”  Thanks Chris!
Her hands were beginning to itch and she was starting to have another panic attack.
It was a good job we had a large packet of crisps in the kitchen to take keep her happy.
The Officer went to talk to my sister on the phone. He told her I could not hear him speak because he was stood along the side of the bungalow.  My sister asked him what they were going to do. He said it was too late to get me into a hostel and that he could force me out to walk the streets for a few hours, then I could look for somewhere to live.  I could hear his handcuffs jangling on his chain.
Pain-in-the-butt told him that I was a Sex-offender and that she wanted me out of the house. He said that he hadn’t known, but would “lay it on with a trowel!”
The Officer said that he might just give me a severe telling off so that I would understand the seriousness of what I had done.
“Is that alright with you Genevieve?” he asked.
He told my sister that I was “verbally challenging,” but that he had not seen any visible marks on my mother.
After that pain-in-the-butt spoke again to my mum;
“Andrew must go! You have to get rid of him! What is that dummy doing down there with him?” she asked.  “He needs to go mother.  When are you going to do what I say?”
My mum told her that she wanted me to behave in a servile way all the time not just some of the time. My sister said that she just wanted me to behave ‘normally.’  My mum repeated what she had said many years before; that men were an inferior species and that I was a total fruitcase.
The Plebs agreed that my mum should keep both the phones by her bedside in case I viciously attacked her during the night.  They would be referring the domestic incident to other agencies who would be getting in touch to do an ‘assessment.’

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