Category Archives: First Contact

At least none of them will have to worry about dying a virgin!

And a Happy New Year to you too! You make me smile. haha! What’s matter. Can’t you sleep? Not so far. I have an idea I can help. ? Think of something very large. Like What? Think of something very hard. What is it? It’s cold outside. Why don’t you try sucking on your fingers […]

Went into the bad supermarket  for a stamp today.  Libby was getting shagged round the back.  One of the staff rushed up to me: “You’re banned!  You know you are” ?

Paid for by the poor and downtrodden…

“Everybody liked him.  Even those he arrested…”

Chopped it into little pieces and smeared it on the pillow Crushed its neck until it cried out in agony Fed it cocaine until it blacked-out

Free food and lodgings if you do as you are told Secure career advancement  into your dog-kennel Part of a team dedicated to preserving the status quo Knowing you are appreciated by your Lords and Masters A wide variety of social contacts among the sick and injured Privileged and able to vote if you are […]

Only 19.  Was he a poor shot?

‘We feel ‘compelled’ to return to work in return for a nice fat pay cheque, and plenty of prestige…

I keep seeing you around town Colin, don’t I.  How long ago is it now, that you turned up to my Writer’s group… In case you’ve heard a few mistruths from people down at the church, who in my opinion, are some of the worse gossips in town. I’m not sure if you read my […]

Spoke to Julie down at the Centre today.  I spoke as loudly as I could so everyone could hear.  They were already watching for me through the front window.  While I was there simultaneous members of staff came round behind me to have a shifty.  Then, just as I was leaving the thick bugger security […]

Is being called murder… Since we can’t believe the police, who lie all the time, and we can’t believe everything broadcast by the media, especially when it comes from the Establishment, who can we believe?  Certainly not the Authorities.  Has anyone ever asked themselves why we can’t hear a version of the truth from the […]

A 25-year-old man has pleaded guilty to offences of voyeurism, outraging public decency and burglary. Pawel Stairwell admitted four counts of voyeurism, two counts of outraging public decency and three counts of burglary when he appeared at Sheffield Crown Court on Wednesday. He is expected to receive a huge lorry-load of bullshit from the Judge […]

Hödr stood outside the ring of men, because he was blind. Then spake Loki to him: ‘Why dost thou not shoot at Baldr?’ He answered: ‘Because I see not where Baldr is; and for this also, that I am weaponless.’ Then said Loki: ‘Do thou also after the manner of other men, and show Baldr […]

I remember my Aunty Betty getting lippy with my Grandad in the nineteen-fifties. She had been out until ten o’clock at night and was just sixteen years of age. They began arguing near the bottom of the stairs. He took hold of her, led her into the kitchen and put her over his knee. Then […]

Fifty years from now Will you still remember me, Fifty years from now, On Marriot’s Way, On our journey from the town. Hand in hand we walked, Under the bramble bush, With the skylarks singing, And the rabbits on the path. The boy who passed us on his bike, The group of teenagers under the […]

It was scorching hot here in Norfolk yesterday, so mum turned off my fridge to see if all the food would go off.

Took mum out for a meal today, but she wouldn’t eat anything because she said she wanted to be taken to Wroxham instead.  When we headed for  the market her bandy legs wavered in the opposite direction.  She looked so small and frail on her own.  I still bought her a brand new purse anyway.  She […]

I have reconnected with my old girlfriend Margo after about forty years.  I remember standing with her against the wall of the Elmer nightclub and saying that I was going to “make myself perfect!” I think I had in mind a hair transplant.  My mum said it was the best thing I could ever do. […]