Category Archives: Hot Air

VIRUS ENTERING THROUGH EYES AND ANUS

Face-masks simply a fashion accessory.

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Trump supporters shot, trying to defend Democracy

Do you trust the Democrats?

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Nancy boy

I was met outside the surgery by the same clip-board waving goon as before. Tight jeans.  Hand in the air. High-pitched voice.  Spray at the ready. “How can I help you today.  Are you alright?” “Why do you want to know?” I responded with my usual curt replies and friendly demeanour. Upon entering Fort Knox […]

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THE PRESIDENT

Mr President. This is Andy Gallagher in England. The best way to deal with this is by showing magnanimity and generosity towards the apparent Victor. Apologise for the jokes you made about him and give him credit where it is due, even though the use of postal ballots is very much open to scrutiny. Be […]

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The ambulance crew

Kept asking me if I’d always lived here.

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Head of Antifa threatens to pray for the President

“My wife Jill and I regretfully send our condolences and hope you will keep your mouth shut in future!”

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Wolf dung

Pretended to like being filmed at first. These idiots snoop into all your e-mails and personal information at will, and twist it all to suit themselves. There isn’t an MP or Member of the Establishment in the country who will say a word in your defence. Taking the urine out of them is your public […]

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When will it ever end…!

  Nearly twelve years ago I contacted a former partner I didn’t even want when we slept in the same bed, on the telephone.  There was one land-line call, and one disputed text message (which, quite frankly, could have come from anyone). Nothing I said was either malicious or threatening. At the close of my […]

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Brave Melania gives hope a boost

How proud he must have been…!

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Red devil given suspended sentence; pigs refused to take bribes

Well, it worked before!

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Violent rapist sentenced today!

“There’s simply no explanation for what he’s done…” “I needed to hear all the sordid little details for my peace of mind.”

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Kanye West declares he will run in 2020

To become the first black President of the United States.

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WILLIAM CLINTON

‘I would have taken Monica to the party, but she was a bit over-the-hill’

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Donald takes out Kim with slow-acting virus

It was all in the handshake, he said.

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Minister charged with rape (touching of the genitals)

Police chief vows;  we will provide you with a much higher calibre of person before very long.

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WHAT A STRANGE 24 HOURS

  Eileen breaks up with me without giving any reason. The Cops turn up and ask me for my phone. Kevin comes here to gloat.

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Eileen B.rton

I met Eileen a few weeks ago.  We went cycling together a few times and got along very well.  She rang me every night and spoke for hours.  Yesterday she came across with a chocolate cake all the way from Ely.  We had a great day in the garden.  She knows I can’t leave my […]

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NOT PLAYING BY THE RULES

And they are?

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Ghislaine Maxwell

Throw enough mud, and hope some of it will stick.

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Lewis Hamilton nearly all white

And getting paler all the time.

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Expletive deletive

Hi Rog. Saw a post on your lass.  All Annabelle’s friends were making complimentary comments like; ‘Isn’t she lovely.’ ‘What a cutey!’ On the spare of the moment I wrote; “She’s just like her dad!” Within seconds my post was taken down and I had been ‘un-friended.’

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Appallingly racist behaviour

Black man goes in a bar with a huge multi-coloured parrot resting on his shoulder. The bar-man stares at him in disbelief. “Where did you get a bluddy thing like that?” The parrot replies; “You ought to go to Africa.  Flipping millions of ‘em.”  

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Little Shitzah

“There’s a dog barking in the garden.” “It’s not the only one.”

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Unconscious bias training

Learn how to eradicate all your homophobic prejudices and become the only living zombie.

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Sky Interviewer; “What do you think could hurt President Putin?”

Nothing you could say.

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Top shelf

It’s great to see our local newsagent has opened its door again. “Mucky books?”

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Another annoying human being joins the human race

Heather’s pregnant with a brat.

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Dea con Jack

I was invited into the attic of our nearby Vicar today, to see the stash of porn mags he’d confiscated from the choir. “It’ll take more than this to lure me back to church,”  I said. I couldn’t help noticing a picture of Ron Jeremy with his cock in its usual chamber. I nodded down […]

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Plenty up top

I took Eileen on the Marriott’s Way yesterday.  It’s a very scenic route through the Norfolk countryside, which used to be a railway track.  The birds were singing.  The weather was beautiful.  The Sun was out.  We were talking about history and Edward the Confessor.  I was coaxed into giving her a back massage, while […]

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Michael Jackson gave money to strangers

Always said he was kind.

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