Category Archives: Hot Air

The launch of my career

Virginia Giuffre has really started life with a bang.  I predict a long and varied career, with cheque-books being waved in her direction from now til doomsday.  The thought of Prince Andrew shagging hell out of her at seventeen fills me with absolute loathing.

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No such thing as a ‘sexual offence’

I spoke to Peabody down at the station today.  He opened his cabinet and gleamed over his shoulder. “Best animal porn I’ve ever come across!” ‘Whatever turns you on,’ I said. ‘Aren’t you worried someone is going to find out? The two-faced hypocritical Establishment will not look kindly on your perverse preoccupation.’ ‘Me,’ he laughed.  […]

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Prince Andrew

Only went to see his friend Jeffrey Epstein to tell him they couldn’t be friends anymore. It was a good flight, with clear visibility, and plenty of nice grub.

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Uncle Chris

“Margaret would never behave like that.”

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Justice for Harry

Trump murdered our son.

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Harvey Wine-stain, exposed himself to women

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Armistice day

We celebrate today, the time when our soldiers gave up their lives, so that we could enjoy and keep our ‘freedom…’

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Yep! Managed to do it again.

Knocked the coffee all over Tona’s table.

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Man sprayed pigs with petrol

At least he didn’t set anyone on fire.

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Grand-master Grindrod

Beginning my game in the Swiss Rapid-play contest against the former International grand-master, after our formal handshake, I picked up the bishop and said… “What do you call this piece again?”

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The murder of Dalian Atkinson

These farmyard animals certainly like testing out their torture toys. No identities please! It may infringe on our privacy, and anyway, we don’t like having our photograph taken.

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Some things never change…

We’ll buy your vote, just until we get into power. Alright, keep your knickers on!

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White can man

My friend Heather said a driver had cut in front of her going through town the other day.  When she got home she rang the company number which was on the side of his van to complain he had ‘used the wrong lane.’  She told me that when you drove a company van you had […]

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The kiss of life

When Gazza was arrested for giving a “fat lass” a kiss on the train and accused of sexual assault people abroad must have been scratching their heads a little.  In Italy men kiss each other on the mouth and no-one says a thing…kissing has always been an expression of friendship; so why didn’t the woman […]

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No shoes for contest

When South Africa won the rugby union world cup final in 1995 there was only one black player in the team.  Bluddy disgusting!

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There’s nothing for it…

We are just going to have to pay people to stay in their own country and donate our hard-earned resources in order to bolster their economy.

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I’ve been saying this for years, but here it is again

Hate is not a crime. Neither is disliking someone. The idea that we should never ‘hate,’ and that we should love everyone, is an idea spread around by Christianity, a religion which has stood truth on its head. Punishing people for a feeling shows just what a dishonest and petty society we are living in. […]

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The Vicar’s wife

Went with the Vicar’s wife to the Feathers in Wymondham.  He’s retired now, but still spinning out sermons. “Asian people are only good at maths because they learn everything by repetition…” “You mean, like a parrot,” I said.

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Finally got rid of pain-in-the-butt down at the station

‘That’s it, finished,’ she said.  ‘You’re on your own from now on.’ ‘I’m going to be among normal people now.’ ‘But you’re not normal,’ I said. (Only here to look in the clothes shops)…

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Corbyn green tie date

Thought that would get you! Pain-in-the-butt again. Giving us lectures on how we should keep the house clean. “You don’t even keep your own house clean…”  I said.

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Bangladesh to be moved to Britain

Due to the rise in sea-levels several hundred million wonderful human beings will need to be rescued and found homes in Europe.

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Trump wanted for murder

Driving on the wrong side of the road Winning an election Not believing in global warming Fondled someone’s tits a century ago Patted a dead billionaire on the shoulder Tried to cover up an erection Couldn’t decide whether to buy a moped or a Harley Davidson “LAWLESS MISCONDUCT!” Now, try and get out of that […]

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Little Shitzah

“Let’s pretend to get on while she’s here.  That will really confuse her.”

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Twin brothers

“Knowing she had escaped to the States was like a punch in the face…”

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Sisters, are doing it for themselves

Pain-in-the-butt was in the bedroom tonight. “Will you get out!  I came to see mum not you.” “And you need to mow the lawn!” “Thank you for pointing that out,” I said. “I wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t mentioned it.”

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Megan Markle

The Duchess of Sussex was complaining about the press telling lies, twisting the facts, and carrying on a campaign of wanton persecution against their victim.  If you are poor the press can say whatever they like, and no-one, not your local MP, or even Dixon of Dock Green, will lift a little finger in your […]

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Pain-in-the-butt

Mum scraped all her meal into the toilet today, just prior to wishing you good day and asking about the dog. Still crazy after all these years.  Well well…

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Football killed Jeff Astle

The relatives of the footballer known as Jeff ‘on-my-nut’ Astle have said that no-one should have to go through what they have been through, and that it was a scandal that good old Jeff had been allowed to head a football during his playing career. “He’ll never be able to see that he had another […]

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The importance of free-speech

Once again, the Authorities are trying to suppress free-speech, with the excuse of ‘terrorism,’ and ‘radical ideas,’ being top of their list of taboos. If free-speech only included populist work, then that would not be free speech! Their answer: “We shouldn’t let our poor young people hear any dangerous new ideas…”

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Harvey Winestain exposed

After being discovered in a wine bar listening to a comedian the arch-fiend, Harvey Winestain, was confronted by several furious females, who had heard about him on the news. “Aren’t you going to do something?”  One of them shouted.  “Will someone do something?” she screamed at the surrounding audience. I don’t know if she was […]

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