Category Archives: Hot Air

Pigs gun down anyone with a criminal record…

Dear Sir Norman, I wondered what you thought about the deliberate police gunning-down of a member of the public, who was leaning over to open his car door?  Do you think anyone will be prosecuted or will Parliament just turn a blind eye again.  A few years ago someone got sent to prison for having […]

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Theresa May: the final conflict

‘Politics has become very ‘course’ and adversarial, a breeding ground for twits and ass-hats.  People should not be laughing and getting enjoyment from the destruction of their enemies.  Debating in this way is wrong and can be extremely damaging.’

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SCRAM!

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No room for racism in our wonderful country says Hunt…

In response to Donald Trump’s tweet that the whingers in the multi-ethnic suffragette movement should ‘Go home,’ if they didn’t like it,  Herr Jeremy Hunt replied; “There is no room for racism in our country.  It is totally un-British to be racist.  I have three half Chinese children and I would be appalled if anyone […]

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Boring old cricket

England world champions; but they had to cheat to do it.

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Trump pulled out due to spite

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If all animals have conscious sentient feelings…

Why aren’t they allowed to vote?

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I thought he would…I hoped he wouldn’t

I’m reliably informed by a friend that she was sitting watching telly yesterday evening when her son suddenly blurted; “Dad, I saw Andy kissing mummy…”

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At last!

We find out what the leaked Kim Darroch e-mails was all about. The Trump administration is incompetent. I might have known!

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Aren’t people wonderful 2

Violence is wrong Displays of aggression are morally repugnant Power is wrong Lying can get you into serious hot water Anger is the spawn of the devil

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Cops harassed man at library

I was sitting minding my own business at the library this evening when in slithered a really shifty looking geezer.  I saw him go and flash his badge at the library staff.  They both gleamed at him as if they knew him.  He was dressed in very plain clothes. Detectives usually are. I watched the […]

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David, love the ‘Beast’

I must just tell you about an elderly chap at our club who is giving me grave cause for concern.  I do not have any evidence yet, apart from the hushed whispers of the members, and the occasional slide of his hand across your rear end as you are standing to order your drink, but […]

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Trump in trouble for tweeting the truth

Made a mess of Brexit Spiteful, two-faced, and domineering A sly and under-hand Ambassador Inept, lazy and top of the ladder Oh, yes!  I can see now why the BBC don’t like him.

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Jeremy con-artist

£60 for tightening up your nuts! No fake bills this time mate?

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I know why David Love likes the supermarket now

It’s all the labels. They really turn him on.

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Doc Martian

I’ve not heard anything from the Doc, ever since I got into a slight pickle some time ago.  We were away on holiday with his wife and three kids when he came down to breakfast wearing her bra.  Martin has been with the correct Practice for a number of years.  He owns a lovely house […]

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Polish slave gang

A gang of crooks who recruited former prostitutes, drug-addicts, criminals and vagrants was jailed the other day for providing food and accommodation in return for work. fresh showers in the local canal or reservoir chicken dinner at the nearest poultry farm a free shag whenever you wanted While the gang feasted on roll-ups, take-away curries […]

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Schools: funding down

Due to a short fall some Education Authorities are having to cut back on school hours, shocking though it may seem. We may even see a four-and-a-half day week. I heard one girl cry; “We love school! We want our day back!”

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Set the house on fire

Pain-in-the-butt Came back from the group to find all the electrical devices on and smoke filling the kitchen. The Little Shitzah was no-where to be seen, but I did hear some singing coming from the garden: “Who’s mummy’s little girl…”

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Why won’t you tell me who won Heather?

I saw Heather win her thirtieth straight game in a row against sweet little Sally. “So, who won that one,” I said. “Sally’s a much stronger player than me…” she smiled.

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Head of Information

We are very lucky at our local chess-club, not only to have our own Photographer, in the shape of Mr. Denzil Love, ex Chief-Inspector (drug-squad), but also Mr. Jonathan Cring, who has assigned himself the role of ‘Information,’ or ‘Communications’ Officer.  His role is to spread around any important stories or bits of information he […]

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England ladies lose to U.S.A

Not enough coloureds in the team.

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SHITZAH

The Little Shitzah wouldn’t get out of the car. “I’ve just been to the dentist,” she said. “What’s wrong. You don’t walk with your teeth…”

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The West has failed…

To provide homes, resources and welfare to anyone who wants it To prevent war, famine and pestilence To see that all hungry mouths are fed in the most troubled areas To encourage the use of condoms and the building of suitable shipping SHAME ON YOU WEST!

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They whisper in corners…

I saw mom and Kevin whispering in the garden. He advised her to shove all her spare savings from her Santander account into his. Mom has been wanting to go to Roy’s for days, but when the good step-son had gone she started her antics again; “Where is my handbag. What have you done with […]

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Once again: men go to jail while women go free

In a recent case involving animal neglect and cruelty the men were sent to prison for a number of years, while their fellow defendant was set free. Having quite naturally celebrated her freedom on Face-book she was reported by the snooping on-line pigs and called back into Court. The leering smiling humanist free-thinking Judge delivered […]

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Hunt says: Boris not to be trusted

Unlike all the other people and Politicians on the planet over the last two thousand years.

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William says: proud to have my son turn out gay

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Merkel does not shake in public!

By order of the Imperial Information Conglomerate.

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Broadland versus the Forum

Won my first game against Bostik tonight!  The rogue very nearly climbed out of the hole I had put him in.  In my next game I was a bishop ahead; I could see my name already in lights; ANDY WON BOTH HIS GAMES! but became so excited at receiving this free gift that I knocked […]

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