Author Archives: Usuli Twelves

Oscars ‘too white’

“Shocking!” says child serial killer. All sections of society should be represented.

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Why do British teenagers never lie…

Because they love the Jews?

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Over fifty killed…

In tremendous animal stampede in Iran.

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Personal Physician looking for work…

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Amnesty International

Come on you racist scum.  Take another sixty.  What are you complaining at?

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Pete’s wife Linda

Called me “Andrew…”  Dead give away!

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Sponsored child at Christmas

Dear Mr BUNDERCHOOK, It was very kind of you to sponsor me, even though we have never met.   Thanks to you I will be able to live a decent life, without having to do anything too disgusting in order to eat.  I now have a smile on my face and can rest assured that the […]

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Trump says Canadian President “two-faced”

Human after all then.

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London bridge is falling down…

Another young Muslim man dies fighting. What a terrible life he must have had after being released from prison. To harbour such hatred towards the West. Could it be that these so-called radicals have their own version of the truth, which we are not allowed to hear?

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Harvey Wine-stain, exposed himself to women

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The murder of Dalian Atkinson

These farmyard animals certainly like testing out their torture toys. No identities please! It may infringe on our privacy, and anyway, we don’t like having our photograph taken.

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Some things never change…

We’ll buy your vote, just until we get into power. Alright, keep your knickers on!

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‘Never say never, in politics or love’

The bombastic Spanish Government…lock anyone in prison who fights for independence, and denies them a democratic vote, because they want to ruthlessly hold on to their territory. People believe that anyone who loses must have made a ‘mistake.’  This is simply untrue. Authorities never want to discuss their hold on power.  First, they will not […]

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Trump the ‘Magnificent’

‘The American people are my priority.  I will do anything to protect them, and this includes leaving the Arabs to fight among themselves, which is what they have always done.  This is not an American war and neither is it my fault that people are killed.’

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Death rattle of the Midgard snake

Under my skin, The death sound, Of the Midgard snake, Fills my head with poison.   Rattling its way inside my brain, Considering the groans of giants, And the gods destroyed by reason.   I lie in my bed, Hearing the noise, Of its hideous wheezing, Clogging my lungs.   Is it my freedom?

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AMERICAN DIPLOMAT FLEES ‘JUSTICE’

“This is a human problem” “Why can’t she just apologise and receive a nice comfortable prison sentence that will ruin her life?” “This is not what immunity was for” “We are a broken family!” “Harry was a ‘fighter,’ and we are trying to honour his name” “We are just getting through hour to hour” “How […]

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Isn’t mankind terrible…

I watched a farming programme tonight where the vet cut off the testicles of five normal exuberant little male piglets. “It’s for their own good,” they said. ” It needs to be done. They were starting to show signs of aggression.” The poor little creatures screamed and wriggled like hell. Without mankind around they  could […]

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INSOMNIA

Apparently, its a very common problem these days, especially with your lap-top nearby.  Alan Ladd died because of it. I shouted; “get to fking sleep!”  but it still didn’t work.

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Trump should buy Greenland…

And re-name it Redland

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Calling horrible halal meat disgusting is disgusting

And you will be labelled as an obscene racist for the rest of your life for it!

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Trafficking of under-age girls

‘Morally repugnant exploitation of unwilling participants in fun and sexual acts’    

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Pilgrimage to Mecca

A chance to erase your past sins To meet up with old friends and associates To chatter with mutually compatible individuals To worship God in all his wonderful manifestations To plan your next move against the infidel To grow your beard and chant To walk round in circles without a camel

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Pest on says…

We will not allow a no-deal Brexit Kippers are good for you Trump must be eliminated

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Trump in trouble for tweeting the truth

Made a mess of Brexit Spiteful, two-faced, and domineering A sly and under-hand Ambassador Inept, lazy and top of the ladder Oh, yes!  I can see now why the BBC don’t like him.

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Jeremy con-artist

£60 for tightening up your nuts! No fake bills this time mate?

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Hunt says: Boris not to be trusted

Unlike all the other people and Politicians on the planet over the last two thousand years.

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Chinese magic

Magicians, working on behalf of the Chinese Government, have made several thousand mosques disappear, along with their fore-head slapping adherents, thereby eliminating a potentially hazardous blot on the landscape.

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Scramble for power

The Tory hopefuls are all beginning to repeat the rhetoric of Nigel Farage, in the hope that voters will confuse them both.

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Trump to the rescue

I have never seen an American President have so much influence on the election for the Tory leadership.  Not only did he out-manoeuvre Corbyn, who would not meet him in public, but tried to arrange a brown-nosing session in private, but he has managed to get Nigel Farage into the Brexit negotiations against strong opposition […]

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Little Shitzah

Pain-in-the-Butt I just heard mum and Kevin whispering outside the back door… they cooked it up between them long ago and still didn’t tell Chris I hadn’t taken it!!! Kevin said:  “Its up to her who she gives the money to.

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