Author Archives: Adumla

EVASION

Dear Mr. Mayhew, I contacted Adult Care Services in North Walsham to find out who the Manager in charge was, but they wouldn’t tell me. When I persisted with my question the member of staff said I was being rude, and put the phone down on me. Why can’t people answer a straight question? It […]

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Rayner goes commando!

Thought I noticed a slight swelling in Boris’s trousers…

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EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Dear Helen, I was greatly honoured to receive your second first class letter, on the same subject, in only a matter of days. I seldom visit the library now.  I look back to the glory days of Karen with a sense of nostalgia, for the warm and friendly atmosphere which once pervaded the building. It […]

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Nazia Ahmed

Doctor Ahmed called round as a “follow-up,” to the imaginary lump in mum’s mouth. When I asked her if she called for any other reason she didn’t reply…

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Unbiased news reporting

Dear Mr. Mayhew, Why on earth are the Government inviting millions of Ukrainians to live in our homes? Have they gone absolutely mad?  I thought we were supposed to be reducing the number of people coming to our shores.  Where is all the money coming from. As I said before.  I grew up with a […]

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Putin ‘bad’

Biden ‘good’

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Do not give arms and money to Ukraine

It will only perpetuate the war and make it far worse. A negotiated settlement is the only solution.

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Masochist

I’m kinda looking forward to seeing Pain-in-the-butt!

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NOT ALLOWED TO TELL THE TRUTH

I don’t think I’ve ever heard Mr. Putin give a clear explanation why Russia has invaded Ukraine. Prince Andrew has come up with millions of pounds to give to a woman he has never even met. British pigs: no case to answer! Sir Kier Starmer is a pain in the nec.

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POINTLESS

Dear Mr. Mayhew, The recent enquiry into Met conduct gives you a good idea why referring people to the IPCC is such a bad idea. It needs a completely different approach.  Those people were less than useless ten years ago. Sending the letter I showed you to Paul Sandford would probably be just as pointless, […]

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Arseholes

On Monday 24th January I was awaiting our Carer, Donna Cunliffe-Smith to arrive to attend to my mother’s personal care (Donna has been with us for over a year).  I had the bath ready as normal, mum’s fresh clothes out on the bed, and our supper, which we share together, ready in the kitchen.  It was […]

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Today in politics

Dear Mr. Mayhew, I was very glad to see the Home Secretary stand by the Prime-Minister yesterday. I feel it’s only a matter of time before another whistle-blower sprints to the media, with yet another story, how eye-less gloating Starmer and his comrades were partying until the early hours during lock-down… The worse that could be said […]

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Nice warm hand, Mr. Johnson

Dear Mr. Mayhew, I just wanted to express my horror at the disgraceful behaviour of the Prime Minister’s father eighteen years ago. Before slapping her arse, he should at least have had her over his knee!

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Kidnapping of 300 Nigerians schoolgirls

At least none of them will have to worry about dying a virgin!

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It’s official!

Government think-tank concludes that the disproportionately high number of black and Asian people dying of the virus is due to’racism:’ poor sanitation poorer education less sugar on your corn-flakes being back of the queue when it came to handing out fruit gums

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Reaction of the Little Shitzah to having the wall painted yellow

Slamming of doors Spitting, shouting, punching, stamping the floor and hissing “Just wait till I show them what you’ve done!”

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Trump caused the virus

Tried to negotiate with a gleaming two-faced Dictator Attempted to defend the world against Chinese domination Spent too much time trying to improve the US economy  

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Spreading the Word of God

Christian evangelists about to export corona virus to isolated Amazon tribes say they are prepared for the worse, but that God is on their side.

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OAF

You can only die when we tell you. Look, get inside, or we will beat your head to pulp.

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Libby at the Post Office

Why are the fittest women also the biggest bitches?

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The amount of gossiping done at the Act Centre

That’s what happens when you put so many women all in one place.

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Just so you know

I keep seeing you around town Colin, don’t I.  How long ago is it now, that you turned up to my Writer’s group… In case you’ve heard a few mistruths from people down at the church, who in my opinion, are some of the worse gossips in town. I’m not sure if you read my […]

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Dear local constabulary…

Dear local Sow-trough, I have written to the council several times about some of the young people on the estate who seem to be getting out of hand.  Only today I saw one of them sneak past wearing a T-shirt with the slogan: ‘Pigs are shit,’ and ‘Oik’ emblazoned in big letters across his back. […]

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Senior ranking Cop

Sacked; for showing signs of normal sexual attraction towards women. unable to distinguish between straight and dyke placed his arm around a waist twanged a couple of bra straps tried to kiss a female constable

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Spoke to Dan the man…

Andy Crick was parked on his seat at the bar last night spying on everyone and spreading stories. I told Dan about the rumour Crick had been spreading around, that he was gay. “Am I seeing things?” I said, rubbing my eyes.  “Isn’t that Andy Crick out without his mother???  I saw her combing his […]

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I am a nurse

I am a nurse, and I work alongside the Authorities to incarcerate anyone thinking of taking their own life. Whenever you’ve had enough of this awful stinking world,  I will help to make your life even more miserable by bringing the pigs round to section you.

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What a load of baloney…

Two more votes for their side, and the Democrats would have been home and dry.  A word of advice Mr President.  Next time you want to find any dirt on Biden, ask in person….or look behind his ears.

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Car show room

Little Shitzah: ” I’ve had the Norovirus.  He hasn’t given me anything to eat for three whole days now.”

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The evil Joe McCann

Has received 33 life sentences ‘for the good of the public.’ Considered too dangerous ever to be freed. Refused to give evidence because he knew it would be an absolute waste of time. Knew the police never told any porkies. While McCann bought a packet of condoms one of his victims sat in his car […]

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Johnson not fit to be Prime-Minister

Shoved a newspaper in his pocket!

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