Has received 33 life sentences ‘for the good of the public.’ Considered too dangerous ever to be freed. Refused to give evidence because he knew it would be an absolute waste of time. Knew the police never told any porkies. While McCann bought a packet of condoms one of his victims sat in his car […]
Shoved a newspaper in his pocket!
“An affront to normal standards of human decency!” Says pompous Oxford McVicar.
Knocked the coffee all over Tona’s table.
“Let’s pretend to get on while she’s here. That will really confuse her.”
I’ve heard from people who knew Gaza long before he became famous, or even, infamous. They said that when he was at school he could lick between someone’s toes without ever leaning over. That kind of ability could come in very handy, on the right occasion.
Labour MP’s are vowing never to back Boris Johnson because of his bad language. Oh, fk off will you!
Ten weeks in clink just for refusing to give a sample of your breath. Only mankind could be so stupid. Only the Establishment would think it a good thing.
There’s no way I could ever get the better of such a smart and well organised outfit.
I sincerely urge the residents, to go and stay where they like.
It’s all the labels. They really turn him on.
Even though the lights were at green, he sounded his horn, shouted, shouted again, waved his hand, used his brakes, and tried to swerve to one side. How about looking where you are going?
On behalf of the Little Shitzah I have made numerous enquiries about her grand-daughter’s betrothal: which country will it be in? will it be conducted in a Christian church or a mosque? when will it be? Is it alright if we sent a card or something…? The same hushed and inarticulate silences prevail. The phone […]
The Chief Executive of Hong Kong spoke eloquently and with inscrutable logic in her address to the people, after the recent protest march. She was accompanied by equally well-balanced and intelligent citizens who were able give the impression of unity and stability.
I rang the hospital to cancel my appointment. I spoke to three members of the nursing staff in turn and not one of them understood a single word I said.
While I was out the Little ‘Fiddler’ got on the phone to the boss. “He left a chair behind the telly!” Pain-in-the-butt wanted more money from her account. She said she was worth it. She said she needed another holiday abroad taking her students round the Vatican. When I came in a sickly smell made […]
We’ve changed all the phones in the house, so you can’t hear us talking to the Vicar about you any more!
There seems to be a panic spreading around the country. Head teachers say there is a funding crisis and not enough people are being born.
I asked Little Shitzah why she didn’t tell me we already had break-down cover when I was stuck in the middle of no-where. She said I shouldn’t have taken the car anyway…!
Acts of aggression are wrong Acts of aggression are always wrong Acts of aggression are always wrong unless committed by people we like People who commit acts of aggression will be punished by the State Justice will always intervene on the side of those sinned against
A seriously disturbed wife who asked if she could return to her controlling and oppressive husband, then destroyed him during a meal of egg and bacon is to appeal against her sentence. Not only did he meet her at the tender impressionable age of just fifteen, but throughout their time together encouraged her to: give […]
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