Author Archives: Adumla

Nice warm hand, Mr. Johnson

Dear Mr. Mayhew, I just wanted to express my horror at the disgraceful behaviour of the Prime Minister’s father eighteen years ago. Before slapping her arse, he should at least have had her over his knee!

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Kidnapping of 300 Nigerians schoolgirls

At least none of them will have to worry about dying a virgin!

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It’s official!

Government think-tank concludes that the disproportionately high number of black and Asian people dying of the virus is due to’racism:’ poor sanitation poorer education less sugar on your corn-flakes being back of the queue when it came to handing out fruit gums

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Reaction of the Little Shitzah to having the wall painted yellow

Slamming of doors Spitting, shouting, punching, stamping the floor and hissing “Just wait till I show them what you’ve done!”

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Trump caused the virus

Tried to negotiate with a gleaming two-faced Dictator Attempted to defend the world against Chinese domination Spent too much time trying to improve the US economy  

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Spreading the Word of God

Christian evangelists about to export corona virus to isolated Amazon tribes say they are prepared for the worse, but that God is on their side.

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OAF

You can only die when we tell you. Look, get inside, or we will beat your head to pulp.

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Libby at the Post Office

Why are the fittest women also the biggest bitches?

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The amount of gossiping done at the Act Centre

That’s what happens when you put so many women all in one place.

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Just so you know

I keep seeing you around town Colin, don’t I.  How long ago is it now, that you turned up to my Writer’s group… In case you’ve heard a few mistruths from people down at the church, who in my opinion, are some of the worse gossips in town. I’m not sure if you read my […]

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Dear local constabulary…

Dear local Sow-trough, I have written to the council several times about some of the young people on the estate who seem to be getting out of hand.  Only today I saw one of them sneak past wearing a T-shirt with the slogan: ‘Pigs are shit,’ and ‘Oik’ emblazoned in big letters across his back. […]

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Senior ranking Cop

Sacked; for showing signs of normal sexual attraction towards women. unable to distinguish between straight and dyke placed his arm around a waist twanged a couple of bra straps tried to kiss a female constable

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Spoke to Dan the man…

Andy Crick was parked on his seat at the bar last night spying on everyone and spreading stories. I told Dan about the rumour Crick had been spreading around, that he was gay. “Am I seeing things?” I said, rubbing my eyes.  “Isn’t that Andy Crick out without his mother???  I saw her combing his […]

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I am a nurse

I am a nurse, and I work alongside the Authorities to incarcerate anyone thinking of taking their own life. Whenever you’ve had enough of this awful stinking world,  I will help to make your life even more miserable by bringing the pigs round to section you.

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What a load of baloney…

Two more votes for their side, and the Democrats would have been home and dry.  A word of advice Mr President.  Next time you want to find any dirt on Biden, ask in person….or look behind his ears.

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Car show room

Little Shitzah: ” I’ve had the Norovirus.  He hasn’t given me anything to eat for three whole days now.”

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The evil Joe McCann

Has received 33 life sentences ‘for the good of the public.’ Considered too dangerous ever to be freed. Refused to give evidence because he knew it would be an absolute waste of time. Knew the police never told any porkies. While McCann bought a packet of condoms one of his victims sat in his car […]

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Johnson not fit to be Prime-Minister

Shoved a newspaper in his pocket!

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Trump visit

“An affront to normal standards of human decency!” Says pompous Oxford McVicar.

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Yep! Managed to do it again.

Knocked the coffee all over Tona’s table.

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Little Shitzah

“Let’s pretend to get on while she’s here.  That will really confuse her.”

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Racist abuse by Bulgars

That’s disgraceful.  Shouldn’t be allowed!

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The length of Gaza’s tongue

I’ve heard from people who knew Gaza long before he became famous, or even, infamous.  They said that when he was at school he could lick between someone’s toes without ever leaning over. That kind of ability could come in very handy, on the right occasion.

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Not as thick as you think

Labour MP’s are vowing never to back Boris Johnson because of his bad language.  Oh, fk off will you!

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DEAN SAUNDERS

Ten weeks in clink just for refusing to give a sample of your breath.   Only mankind could be so stupid.  Only the Establishment would think it a good thing.

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Bring back slavery

I didn’t think it had ever really gone away.

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Sweating like a pig

There’s no way I could ever get the better of such a smart and well organised outfit.

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Guess what?

You’re an ugly fuker!

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Whaley bridge reservoir

I sincerely urge the residents, to go and stay where they like.

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War bad, peace good!

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