Author Archives: Rumplestiltskin

Chaos in America

The Democrat pack are finally going to have another go at impeachment, having tried to get Donald Trump out of office any way they could, over the last four gruelling years.  They are hoping to rush it through before the end of his tenure. The TV debates exposed some of Trumps weaknesses, but he also […]

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Nancy boy

I was met outside the surgery by the same clip-board waving goon as before. Tight jeans.  Hand in the air. High-pitched voice.  Spray at the ready. “How can I help you today.  Are you alright?” “Why do you want to know?” I responded with my usual curt replies and friendly demeanour. Upon entering Fort Knox […]

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Kanye West declares he will run in 2020

To become the first black President of the United States.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

WILLIAM CLINTON

‘I would have taken Monica to the party, but she was a bit over-the-hill’

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Donald takes out Kim with slow-acting virus

It was all in the handshake, he said.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Minister charged with rape (touching of the genitals)

Police chief vows;  we will provide you with a much higher calibre of person before very long.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Jack Sparrow maimed my marrow

Chopped it into little pieces and smeared it on the pillow Crushed its neck until it cried out in agony Fed it cocaine until it blacked-out

Posted in First Contact | Comments closed

Dea con Jack

I was invited into the attic of our nearby Vicar today, to see the stash of porn mags he’d confiscated from the choir. “It’ll take more than this to lure me back to church,”  I said. I couldn’t help noticing a picture of Ron Jeremy with his cock in its usual chamber. I nodded down […]

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Plenty up top

I took Eileen on the Marriott’s Way yesterday.  It’s a very scenic route through the Norfolk countryside, which used to be a railway track.  The birds were singing.  The weather was beautiful.  The Sun was out.  We were talking about history and Edward the Confessor.  I was coaxed into giving her a back massage, while […]

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

A bit of gardening

I spoke to Eileen last night.  We speak quite often although I am trying to discourage her from using phrases like: “I haven’t had it for ages…” and… “Where would you like to put your hand tonight darling?” ‘I’ve got to be honest,’ I said to her.  ‘I like a woman to look like a […]

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Teachers refuse to go back to govern lazy unruly pupils

Ah,  in need of a pay rise.  Too much free time chatting in the garden.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Bure Valley Margaret

Bure Valley Margaret saw me enter the supermarket from the wrong direction today. There was no-one else in the queue, so I asked the doorman if it was alright if I came in that way. As I went inside, I saw her rush back and start telling him the lies she is famous all-round town […]

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

The war in Syria…

Has been cancelled, due to COVID-19!

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Living in permanent fear

We were sitting round the table at the chess group, with Heather opposite me, when Charles said; “You’d better be careful, Andy.  Its a leap year, and women can ask a man to marry them…”

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Great day for ‘justice’

Harvey found guilty of third degree rape…(touching the genitals without consent, looking the wrong way, arguing). I challenge anyone to disagree. Women never lie or exaggerate It’s wrong to seek your own selfish sexual gratification You will always have the media on your side Ticket tout sent down for making a profit Congratulations.  You can […]

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

My racist Grand-father

Said the town would be taken over by people coming in from abroad. Insisted he had not fought in two world wars just to give everything to spongers. Swore the National Health Service would be swamped with sprogs. Was brain-washed from an early age by priests working for the Wops.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Winestain

Guilty of ‘predatory behaviour’ inconsistent with normal human endeavour.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Man jailed for having sex in train toilet…

While his wife listened to all the commotion outside the door.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Major news story!

Phillip Schofield’s gay.  I could have told you that years ago.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

A dangerous lack of bio-diversity

Equal rights groups are up-in-arms about the dangerous lack of diversity strutting around at the recent award ceremonies. They complained about a lack of colour,  the shocking number of white people, and the disproportionately small number of untalented female directors willing to get up on stage and weep.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

David Walliams says…

I’ll make Piers Morgan eat his words, if its the last thing I do before breakfast.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Emily Thornberry

“Based on what is right and what is wrong, we will fight fight fight until the evil Boris is defeated, and a new more fairer society is created.”  

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Nuclear deal bad for Trump!

Say Sky News.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Information wanted on Joe Biden

Including any sordid details about his private life.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Fake news….

Sky News sides with Trump!

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Calendar girls

The Naked Rambler was imprisoned for seven years for doing just the same thing, but don’t forget; he is a man…

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

We mourn the death…

Of our beloved son; Jeffrey Epstein.  Father?  Brother, tutor, pundit, adviser, coach, sex-guru, who died in such horrible circumstances, through no fault of his own.

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Grandmother banned from school

A Grand-mother, falsely accused of fraud by the Post office, but with a criminal record, has been banned from being left alone with her grandchild. “Just about right.”  Our Local priest. “Not before time!”  Local council chief. “Suits us fine.”  P C Plod  

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

What do you think you’d like to do between now and the day of the trial?

“Thought I’d check out my husband’s cock  a bit more…”

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed

Hard as Flint

Caroline Flint lost her seat in the recent General election and responded by nailing a long time adversary with a story of filth.  She accused Emily Thornberry of calling her electorate “thick.”  Thornbury denies calling them stupid.  She says that she has no alternative but to take legal action to prove that what she said […]

Posted in Hot Air | Comments closed