Author Archives: Rumplestiltskin

Emily Thornberry

“Based on what is right and what is wrong, we will fight fight fight until the evil Boris is defeated, and a new more fairer society is created.”  

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Nuclear deal bad for Trump!

Say Sky News.

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Information wanted on Joe Biden

Including any sordid details about his private life.

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Fake news….

Sky News sides with Trump!

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Calendar girls

The Naked Rambler was imprisoned for seven years for doing just the same thing, but don’t forget; he is man…

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We mourn the death…

Of our beloved son; Jeffrey Epstein.  Father?  Brother, tutor, pundit, adviser, coach, sex-guru, who died in such horrible circumstances, through no fault of his own.

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Grandmother banned from school

A Grand-mother, falsely accused of fraud by the Post office, but with a criminal record, has been banned from being left alone with her grandchild. “Just about right.”  Our Local priest. “Not before time!”  Local council chief. “Suits us fine.”  P C Plod  

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What do you think you’d like to do between now and the day of the trial?

“Thought I’d check out my husband’s cock  a bit more…”

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Hard as Flint

Caroline Flint lost her seat in the recent General election and responded by nailing a long time adversary with a story of filth.  She accused Emily Thornberry of calling her electorate “thick.”  Thornbury denies calling them stupid.  She says that she has no alternative but to take legal action to prove that what she said […]

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Boris Johnson  

Threatened with jail. Accused of being a groper of women who had a problem with women, a liar and a cheat.  Blamed for all the problems in the Health Service. Reproached for trying to sell of the National Health Service.  Branded a buffoon and an idiot. Denunciated for being a friend to the Donald.  They […]

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The wonderful Christian church

In 913, after battling against the pagan Danes, the Mercian Queen, Aethelflaed, sensing victory, had her enemy cornered in a wood.  Some of the fleeing Norse-men had gone in there to hide, fearing the wrath of their Christian foe. As they sheltered among the trees they heard the sound of axes chopping down everything around them.  […]

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Saint David Duckenfield

After thirty years of lucrative work for the legal establishment, at last we reach a fair and honest conclusion: NOT GUILTY! A tragic accident which was not in any way due to negligence or mismanagement by the people in charge. “Steady on lads.  Only use your truncheons if absolutely necessary…” “steel toe caps nicely polished?” […]

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Trump the ‘Great’

Supports Hong Kong citizens in their fight against oppression. Stick that in your pipes, you sycophantic drones of the Church of England establishment.

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No such thing as a ‘sexual offence’

I spoke to Peabody down at the station today.  He opened his cabinet and gleamed over his shoulder. “Best animal porn I’ve ever come across!” ‘Whatever turns you on,’ I said. ‘Aren’t you worried someone is going to find out? The two-faced hypocritical Establishment will not look kindly on your perverse preoccupation.’ ‘Me,’ he laughed.  […]

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Bangladesh to be moved to Britain

Due to the rise in sea-levels several hundred million wonderful human beings will need to be rescued and found homes in Europe.

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Trump wanted for murder

Driving on the wrong side of the road Winning an election Not believing in global warming Fondled someone’s tits a century ago Patted a dead billionaire on the shoulder Tried to cover up an erection Couldn’t decide whether to buy a moped or a Harley Davidson “LAWLESS MISCONDUCT!” Now, try and get out of that […]

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Senior nurse Mcard

The Little Shitzah was furiously cleaning the utility room just now. “I’ve just done that!” I said. “Don’t you dare tell me how to clean up. ” “I worked with Senior Nurse Mcard for twenty years…”

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ATROCITIES OF THE BRITISH ARMY IN IRELAND

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I saw you in the supermarket tonight

I saw Sherie in the supermarket tonight.   Of course, that’s not her real name.  She was sent to my writing group to serve as a stool-pigeon.  I told her I’d got a new phone and that she was welcome to drop by for coffee anytime.  She was dressed in black, and was buying a birthday […]

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Mrs Begum

Fully approves of all be-headings Spent most of her time lying on her back A breeding machine for the good of the army A poor innocent ‘victim’ of child abuse Another example of the failure of the British State    

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What makes a wizard?

  The ability to be in more than one place at the same time The ability to communicate with the higher forces and Guardians The possession of a familiar or animal spirit The ability to feel the thoughts and feelings of others across every space and time The ability to tap into the Universal mind […]

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Shit-in-the-butt

I took mum along to the Docs and was eventually allowed in with her. She admonished me for making the appointment and said that I was not her ‘real’ son. Dr Moweku asked her if she would like to do a memory test with him. She said I was after her bungalow. We tried several […]

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Colonisation of the planets

Observing the fighting and shouting in the House of Commons today made me think how wonderful it will be when our species has made its way across the Galaxy to set up home…

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Who ever took any notice of a Judge…

The decision to Prorogue Parliament has been revoked by a triad of Judges sitting somewhere north of the border.  Is there anyone who takes any notice of this shite anyway?

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Man arrested for not wearing his shirt

In our town that’s classed as indecency.  We were told that going shirtless would scare the people shitless.

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PIGS

Never lie, are always kind and totally unselfish, especially when carrying a pair of hand-cuffs in their back pocket.

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Trust the Royal family…

When the chips are down; roll in the royal carpet batten down the hatches! lie through your teeth hold on to your riches then say how Prince Andrew didn’t like em young…!

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The ‘evil’ of gambling

Its okay to gamble, unless you’re a kid!

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Scapegoat

A fight breaks out between a coven of teenagers and the police over a missing insurance certificate.  The Copper clings onto the car because he wants  to be  a hero.  One of the unlucky lads who the pigs don’t like anyway just about fits-the-bill.

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Bloodbath in Hong Kong

As the Chinese army approaches the outskirts of Hong Kong who can prevent the terrible slaughter about to take place!

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