The Democrat pack are finally going to have another go at impeachment, having tried to get Donald Trump out of office any way they could, over the last four gruelling years. They are hoping to rush it through before the end of his tenure. The TV debates exposed some of Trumps weaknesses, but he also […]
I was met outside the surgery by the same clip-board waving goon as before. Tight jeans. Hand in the air. High-pitched voice. Spray at the ready. “How can I help you today. Are you alright?” “Why do you want to know?” I responded with my usual curt replies and friendly demeanour. Upon entering Fort Knox […]
To become the first black President of the United States.
‘I would have taken Monica to the party, but she was a bit over-the-hill’
It was all in the handshake, he said.
Police chief vows; we will provide you with a much higher calibre of person before very long.
Chopped it into little pieces and smeared it on the pillow Crushed its neck until it cried out in agony Fed it cocaine until it blacked-out
I was invited into the attic of our nearby Vicar today, to see the stash of porn mags he’d confiscated from the choir. “It’ll take more than this to lure me back to church,” I said. I couldn’t help noticing a picture of Ron Jeremy with his cock in its usual chamber. I nodded down […]
I took Eileen on the Marriott’s Way yesterday. It’s a very scenic route through the Norfolk countryside, which used to be a railway track. The birds were singing. The weather was beautiful. The Sun was out. We were talking about history and Edward the Confessor. I was coaxed into giving her a back massage, while […]
I spoke to Eileen last night. We speak quite often although I am trying to discourage her from using phrases like: “I haven’t had it for ages…” and… “Where would you like to put your hand tonight darling?” ‘I’ve got to be honest,’ I said to her. ‘I like a woman to look like a […]
Ah, in need of a pay rise. Too much free time chatting in the garden.
Bure Valley Margaret saw me enter the supermarket from the wrong direction today. There was no-one else in the queue, so I asked the doorman if it was alright if I came in that way. As I went inside, I saw her rush back and start telling him the lies she is famous all-round town […]
We were sitting round the table at the chess group, with Heather opposite me, when Charles said; “You’d better be careful, Andy. Its a leap year, and women can ask a man to marry them…”
Harvey found guilty of third degree rape…(touching the genitals without consent, looking the wrong way, arguing). I challenge anyone to disagree. Women never lie or exaggerate It’s wrong to seek your own selfish sexual gratification You will always have the media on your side Ticket tout sent down for making a profit Congratulations. You can […]
Said the town would be taken over by people coming in from abroad. Insisted he had not fought in two world wars just to give everything to spongers. Swore the National Health Service would be swamped with sprogs. Was brain-washed from an early age by priests working for the Wops.
Guilty of ‘predatory behaviour’ inconsistent with normal human endeavour.
While his wife listened to all the commotion outside the door.
Phillip Schofield’s gay. I could have told you that years ago.
Equal rights groups are up-in-arms about the dangerous lack of diversity strutting around at the recent award ceremonies. They complained about a lack of colour, the shocking number of white people, and the disproportionately small number of untalented female directors willing to get up on stage and weep.
I’ll make Piers Morgan eat his words, if its the last thing I do before breakfast.
“Based on what is right and what is wrong, we will fight fight fight until the evil Boris is defeated, and a new more fairer society is created.”
Including any sordid details about his private life.
The Naked Rambler was imprisoned for seven years for doing just the same thing, but don’t forget; he is a man…
Of our beloved son; Jeffrey Epstein. Father? Brother, tutor, pundit, adviser, coach, sex-guru, who died in such horrible circumstances, through no fault of his own.
A Grand-mother, falsely accused of fraud by the Post office, but with a criminal record, has been banned from being left alone with her grandchild. “Just about right.” Our Local priest. “Not before time!” Local council chief. “Suits us fine.” P C Plod
“Thought I’d check out my husband’s cock a bit more…”
Caroline Flint lost her seat in the recent General election and responded by nailing a long time adversary with a story of filth. She accused Emily Thornberry of calling her electorate “thick.” Thornbury denies calling them stupid. She says that she has no alternative but to take legal action to prove that what she said […]
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